A couple hours after my delivery out of nowhere I just felt sick and nauseated, and I felt itchy all over. When they brought my son into the room I asked the nurse to take him back, luckily; dad, my mother and sister were in the room so they tended to my son. At first my family thought I just didn’t want to be bothered because I felt sick but as the day went on they noticed that I was very withdrawn from my son. The time came for me to leave the hospital with this baby and I didn’t care if he came or not, I had developed postpartum depression.
My sister couldn’t understand why I was acting the way I was, he looked just like my daughter and I loved my daughter with all my heart. I can’t really explain where it came from or why, I had a good pregnancy and I was happy and excited about the birth of my baby. During this period I didn’t want anything to do with him and everyone around me knew it. I ignored him, I wouldn’t feed him, I would take my daughter and leave him behind, and when I found him staring at me I would yell at him to stop looking at me. My sister and my mother wanted to take him home because they feared I would neglect him, but dad wouldn’t allow that.
Three months went by and it was time to go back to work, I was excited because I knew I would see less of him. One day on the way home from work his dad called and asked me to pick him up from the day care center; I was not very happy about that. On the way home, after I picked him up, something told me to look in the rear view mirror and when I did I noticed my son staring at me and his face turning blue. That was the day I snapped out of my depression, and one of the best days of my life.
According to Midwifery Today; in rural Mexico, midwives still attend almost 50% of the births and are preferred over the doctors because they themselves are women; because they charge less; because they go to the woman’s home, are available, speak the same language and share the same culture; and because they treat women with warmth and emotion. The clinic where I went to for prenatal care had midwives, and they were great, very supportive, but most of them didn’t have children. I always wondered if they really could understand what we were going through. Personally, I think men are more sensitive to woman because they really do not know what a woman endures; maybe this is why the midwives were great.
Midwifery Today. (2015). Birth & Midwifery in Mexico. Midwives in Oaxaca.
Retrieved from: http://www.midwiferytoday.com/international/mexico.asp
I’ve never met anyone with postpartum depression. As sad as it sounds to want to be away from your child, I’m so glad you snapped out of it in time before something horrible happened to your child. Was your family aware you developed postpartum depression or did they continue to misunderstand your actions? Did your baby’s dad feel any of the same depression symptoms? Your father proved to be instrumental in giving you the support you needed by not allowing your mother and sister take your baby away from you. I enjoyed reading your post and it sounds like you have a great family.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, my family didn't know I had postpartum depression until after I snapped out of it. Luckily my sister was there when my son stopped breathing and she said she will never forget the look on my face, she knew I was somewhere else then. My mother and sister thought I didn't want my child because he was dark skinned, I do not know where they got that idea but today we laugh about it. I think he did as well because for some reason he would the baby didn't look like him, everyone thought he was crazy because my son is his twin. I think he was just reflecting on my feelings.
DeleteMaria,
ReplyDeleteI am glad to hear how supportive your family was with you and your new baby especially during your postpartum depression. This just emphasises the important of family involvement in the development of their children. Do you notice any differences in the relationships between you and your daughter versus you and your son?
As we consider the women in Mexico and their preference for a midwife over a doctor it reinforces the power of good and open communication and sensitivity which the female midwives showed compared to the male doctors.
Dellarece
I love both my children equally but yes our relationships are very much different because they are both different. My daughter lacks the love of her dad, therefore; I have to very attentive to her. My son on the other hand has Anxiety and ADHD, we spend a lot of time in therapy and in school trying to accommodate his needs in school and at home. He needs a lot attention and guidance, where my daughter just needs to know that she is loved. It all might sound crazy but it works for us! :-)
DeleteMaria,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your story. I have heard different storied of people having postpartum depression and I can see now that there are also different levels of postpartum. I am so happy that you had a great support system who would not let you give up on getting to know your son. Your story taught me to never give up on what is important and I know that your son can appreciate your effort.
Deshadiya
Thank you! :-)
Delete